Wait, Did I Just Get What I Asked For??
“Please Universe, Please God, Please send me a man”. If I had a dollar for every time I asked for this, I would be a millionaire. For years, I asked, begged, pleaded, bargained, yelled at, cried, and prayed to God. Please Universe, please God, please send me love. What would it take for me to get what I’m asking for? Why must I endure such heartbreak, such torment, to get what others seem to find so effortlessly?
Sometimes, we get so used to the act of asking for something. So used to the frequency of requesting the thing we want and don’t have, that when we actually get it, it stops us dead in our tracks. What now? Who am I if I’m not the woman who is asking for a lover? Can I actually accept that the love I’ve been asking for all this time has been given to me? I’ve created an identity of myself as the woman who is waiting for love. And now, I’m no longer that woman. I’m this whole new woman, a woman who has love in her life. Who is she? How does she move? How does she speak? Does she laugh from her belly? Does she walk with her chest out and head up? How does she listen to others? Does she still hold compassion in her heart? Is she really all that different from the woman still waiting?
For a while, I was afraid to accept that I had found what I sought. I was afraid of letting go of the identity I’ve held onto all these years. The identity I convinced myself was part of who I was. And now I had to let her go. It’s a scary thing to let go of what you know, and step into the complete unknown. But what’s the alternative? If I’m not happy where I am, I must move elsewhere. I must do something differently, otherwise I will always get the thing I’m not satisfied with. At one point, I decided to let go of what wasn’t working, in search for what did work. I let go of my safe and familiar “comfort zone” and embarked on an adventure to find what I seek.
Isn’t that always the case? What we want doesn’t just come to us freely. What we really really want, we have to go find. “To Conquer without Risk is to Triumph without Glory”. Well, what’s a bigger risk than leaving your comfort zone?
That’s what I did. I left my comfort zone. I opened my heart, and showed the Universe that yes, I was ready to finally receive that which I have been asking for all these years.
I’ve been so fortunate to reach a point in my life where I’ve experienced such beauty, such grace, that I am forever grateful for every moment of every day. I take nothing for granted, because I know how life moves and shifts and changes all the time. Nothing is permanent, nothing ever lasts. Not the good times, not the bad. Not our bodies, nor mom and dad. And because I know this to be true deep inside, I know to be grateful for each moment, here and now.
Now I have found him, and I know the Universe has heard my pleas. Now that my prayers have been answered, I can take a moment to say Thank You! Thank you for the sky and the Earth. Thank you for the air I breathe and the shirt on my back. Thank you for my health, for my strength. Thank you for my family, my friends. Thank you to the love of my life. And thank you Universe, for teaching me every step of the way.
Photo Credit: Art Print by shondarobb