When my brother's partner came to me one day and said "Hey! I learned this awesome energy modality, can I practice on you?", I immediately said "Abso-friggen-lutely!!".
First off, I love trying new things. I love the excitement of discovering parts about myself I didn't know before, with the help of new tools. In my opinion, discovering ourselves is the most exciting thing we can do in our lives. Who are we, really? Who are we when we're surrounded by our loved ones? Who are we when we're in an uncomfortable situation? Who are we when we're alone?
Secondly, I love supporting my loved ones in their endeavors. If she needs a guinea pig, I'm her girl! Of course, so long as I'm not putting myself in any danger or harm. But since this energy modality was all about "releasing stagnant energy and outdates beliefs and considerations", I thought, well heck yeah! There are things I'm holding onto that I could do without in my life!
We began our session by talking generally about where I was in my life. At the time, I was working a traditional 9-5 corporate job. On the outside, it looked like a great place to be. Good pay, good benefits... But, inside, I felt numb. On a regular basis, I would sneak into the staircase and cry, then wipe those tears and do the not-so-effective-but-better-than-nothing hand air dry over the face, hoping no one would notice the tears and puffy eyes. Hoping no one would notice how unhappy I was. Hoping no one would notice how every day I felt a little more claustrophobic by the prospect of having to stay at a job that's sucking the spark out of my soul. (I'm a little dramatic, but I am an Aries, after all).
I told my sister-in-law all about how much anxiety and depression ruled my life. How I dreamed of a life I felt I couldn't reach. How lost and helpless I felt. I was drowning, fast.
I told her that I had even spoken to my doctor about it. Chest pain, difficulty concentrating, shortness of breath, trouble sleeping. He sent me to a therapist who did an official anxiety and depression test. I scored quite highly on both of them. The therapist had sent my results to my doctor, who proceeded in prescribing me anti-depressants. He also wrote me a medical note to take a mental leave of absence from work.
I felt the weight of my world caving in. Is this my life now? Will I be on anti-depressants forever just so I can stay in this life? No! No way! But what can I do? The pressure I felt was tremendous.
Then... we began the session...
Within a few minutes, I felt everything rushing up. But not in an overwhelming, "I need to escape into the staircase" kind of way. It was like I was watching a movie; The movie of My Life. It was unfolding with every point (or "Bar") she was holding on my head.
Full Disclaimer** At this point in my life, I was not a stranger to energy work. I had already learned and been practicing (on myself) Reiki. Click here to know more about Reiki.
So when I felt the energy flowing, I knew to breathe. I knew to get out of my own way and let it do what it needed to do. I knew that whatever I was feeling emotionally, or even physically, was a direct response to the energy flowing through the stuckness and releasing it.
It was uncomfortable at times. But as I realize more and more, my life's motto is "what's the alternative?" Can I go back to living in the staircase? Is that the kind of life I want for myself? If not, then whatever this is... as uncomfortable as it is in this tiny moment, it doesn't even come close to those days on the stairs.
So I breathed.
And breathed some more....
And suddenly... the heaviness lifted. My chest didn't feel so heavy. It didn't feel like the weight of the world was crushing down on it; a feeling I've become all too familiar with. It felt lighter. I felt like I finally had room to breathe just a little more. That, my friends, is a great feeling!
The session continued... As always, my mind was very involved. Front and center, always steering, always by my side. In my mind, a string of logical thoughts began to form. "Can I actually do this?" and "What if this was FUN?". I was so afraid of making decisions and making bold moves that I didn't' decide anything at all.. That's no way to live!
What came through during my very first session what exactly the release I needed to shift my life completely. I took my life back. I decided. I made a choice that if this life was not making me happy, I was going to do something about it.
A few years ago, my Reiki Teacher told me about an Eco-Community in Costa Rica. She told me she goes every year, and that it's a powerful place of transformation and healing. All those years, I thought, damn there is no way I'll ever go there. It's too far, too expensive, too scary, too crazy, too too too...
But then I had "my Bars" run... and suddenly, Costa Rica wasn't so far. It wasn't too expensive at all. It wasn't scary, it was EXCITING!
And for the first time in a long time, I felt excited about the prospect of going there.
I made my choice. It was a bold one. And one that I knew, once it was made, I couldn't undo. But.. "what's the alternative?"
So I respectfully and with so much love, closed the chapter with my employer. I explained to my wonderful boss, with full disclosure, that my life is precious to me, and this is not what I need to be doing with it! There is MORE! And I'm going to go get it!
That night I booked my flight to Costa Rica.
Access Bars didn't make me quit my good paying, insurance providing, secure job.
Access Bars helped me release the blocks I held onto that stopped me from making the choice I was going to make anyway, but maybe in another 3, 5 or 10 years.
Access Bars didn't give me courage to make the choice for myself; It guided me to look at my own block with lightness and release it gently. Knowing I don't need it.
Access Bars did not grant me super powers; It gave me the boost I needed to access the superpowers I already had.
And you have them too. We all do!
Each of us have a gift to share with the world. We each of us have that spark. Some of us are closet musicians, too afraid to let our voices be heard. Some of us are brilliant with a paint brush, but doubt our abilities to share (and even sell) our work! And some of us are so gentle and loving, but we think it's a weakness instead of a strength. So we keep ourselves down and small, instead of rising to the beauty within us.
Access Bars is an energy technique, a tool that helps us access our inner superpowers. Our strengths and beauty. To release the doubts, to release the beliefs that hold us back. To release all those stagnant energies that are in the way of achieving our greatness.
Access Bars:
As Always,
With love and kindness,
~L
My amazing Soul Sister, Manon Bordeleau, and I, 4 years after our first Bars Session. Today, I give and teach Bars too, and Manon has continued to grow and is now teaching many more tools within the umbrella of Access Consciousness
