I went for a walk in the rain. I thought the sound of water would help me cry out the pain of sadness I've been feeling for so long.
What am I so sad about? What is this feeling? What is causing it, who is feeling it, and why?
Those are some big questions. Then I remembered a quote a friend had told me: "An unquestioned life is a wasted life." When I searched online to know who said that quote, I found this quote instead: "An unexamined life is not worth living", a famous quote by Plato. And I thought, an unexamined life is not worth living, but examining life too much is wasting the beauty that comes with not knowing.
I stood in the rain, in the middle of an empty soccer field, and asked for a sign... again.
Here's what happened next:
I began thinking about death. What would happen if I got hit by a car right now? What would happen if I had a near-death experience? Why is it that people who have near-death experiences often come back and change their lives, like, a complete 180°? What do they see on the other side? But more importantly (yes, there is something more important), what makes them choose to come back and change everything they know?
Then I started thinking, why do I need to nearly die to do this? I've been trying to get a direction. A sign to show me what to do, what step to take in order to live the life I want. But I don't even know what kind of life is possible for me. It's impossible to imagine a life that is beyond what we know, because we only have our own experiences, knowledge, feelings, beliefs, and fears to create that imagined life.
But the universe doesn't use our experiences. It has a much bigger range to work with. A range that is so vast, so beyond our comprehension, that asking for a life we want is meaningless in comparison to what's actually possible. That's where Access Consciousness © is also founded on; "What else is possible?"© And "everything that is, everything that comes up, everything you perceive, will you now uncreate, delete, and destroy it all?" © (If you want to know more about this, check out my services!)
I don't want to have a near-death experience to live a life made possible by The Architect. I want to have a near-life experience where I sit beside The Architect and watch as It/He/She/They work their magic on what is and will be my life.
But in order to watch the magic unfold, I need to let The Architect do the job. How productive would an employee be if their manager was constantly looking over their shoulder watching their every move, eager to grab the mouse and take over the project? Why even hire an employee if you won't let them do their job and present the success to you when they're ready?
So, this is me hiring the employee. Better yet, this is me choosing a partner; The Architect. Hand in hand, I invite magic to unfold, while I sit and watch what else is possible ©.
Here's the best part... I'm worried about what I'll do with my life. Worried about what people will think of me. Worried about not having enough money. Worried about making a name for myself. Worried. Worried. All the time, thinking and worrying. But what's really happening is, I'm living my life, right now! And this is how I'm living it. In a constant state of worry. I'm using the time that is my life to worry about how I will live my life.
How I "will live" my life -- future tense. Am I not living it now? Am I not breathing? Is my heart not beating every moment? It most certainly is! And yet, I worry.
So here is my pledge:
I am going to Costa Rica in January, 2020 for 3 months. Each day, I will meditate. I will be surrounded by nature. I will make friends. I will write about my experience every single day. And if I forget, that's alright. But I will do my utmost to write as much as possible and reflect on each day and each moment to the best of my abilities.
And when I return from my trip, the world will be my oyster, and I will be the pearl.
If I fail, then I fail. If I make a mistake, then I will learn and do better the next time. But I will keep trying, because trying and failing is better than not trying at all. Said every successful person, ever.
This was an entry I had written back in 2019. This was right before I went to Costa Rica. Right before Covid. Right before everything changed. And yet, this still holds true. I chose to share this with you today because, well, to be completely honest, I felt guided to find this old entry. After I read it, I felt a strong confirmation to share it with you.
We are the co-creators of our lives. I say "co" because we don't create it 100% alone. And we also don't NOT create it 100%. In other words, the Universe, the Architect, God, whatever you want to call it, is always right there with us. And we can choose to work with it, always.
So, after not having written to you in a long time, I hereby re-introduce myself!
Hi, I'm Liron! And I'm here on this Earth to learn, grow, expand, laugh, cry, sing, dance, teach and create! Want to join me? The more the merrier! Together we can bring the magic!
As always, with kindness