Free Train of Thought
Hello lovely human!
Today I had a conversation with a dear friend. They had shared with me a vulnerable and private moment, which I intend to honor as such. So much so, in fact, that I will attempt to hide even their gender altogether, in order to really respect this person’s privacy, as well as to challenge my writing skills, just for fun. But the message I want to portray to you in this week’s piece requires minimal backstory. Therefore, should this nameless friend read this and recognize themselves, do know my intentions are respectful.
What my friend had shared was that they found themselves unable to articulate eloquently, or at all sometimes, whilst speaking to a potential love interest. "I have trouble finding things to say, I feel silly" they said ( I'm paraphrasing). But they were quite hard on themselves as they shared, I thought to myself. I was also thinking "I’ve totally been there!". We've all been there, I'm sure! Let's be honest. Mumbling, stumbling and losing our words around people we found attractive. I had a lifetime of mumbling around men I was interested in. I felt like a fool fifty percent of the time.
But at that moment, my intuition was guiding me to tell my friend to simply tell their love interest in the struggle of finding a topic of conversation . I asked them what would happen if they were to say to so-and-so “I sometimes don’t know what to talk to you about, but I enjoy being in your presence and I wanted to share this with you”, in my friend’s own words, of course. This is something I, myself, had said to a man I fancied. To which he replied, to my delight, how refreshing it was to hear such honesty.
The reason I'm bringing this up, my lovely reader, is because today I thought and thought and didn't have any single topic to write about for you. And so, I took my own advice, as I always do, and decided to simply write about what’s going on for me at this moment, which is that I have nothing to write about.
Having no particular topic to write about, however, is turning out to be much more fun, because now I can simply write what's on my mind, as it's on my mind, in a live stream of my thoughts, and I have absolutely no idea what will come up.
Funnily, as I finished that sentence, I began thinking of what I should write about next. This is sort of like how our minds work, too. My mind constantly thinks about what to think about. But when I get out of my own head, when I step aside, what arises comes from elsewhere. I'm curious now, as I type, what I'm actually trying to say here... And I could easily go back and edit this paragraph and make it a little smoother, but that would defeat the purpose of a live stream. This is raw, and messy, and maybe not even interesting at all. But if you're reading this sentence, then it must be at least a little bit interesting so far, right?
What I really want to say is that sometimes we can let the train of thought just ride itself to wherever it wants to go.
Have you ever gotten on a train (or a bus, or a plane, or even just a car) without any destination? Just got in and went somewhere?
I'm trying to think if I've ever actually done that. I definitely want to! Well, this piece is sort of like that. No destination. The journey itself is the fun, and if you trust the process, it can take you down a wild and glorious path.
As always, my intention with these writings is to give you an interesting perspective. Perhaps it’s new, perhaps not. This time, I invite you to write down your thoughts as they come. No filtering, no editing, no deleting words (maybe just the spelling and grammar, so what you’re saying generally makes sense), and just let the flow take you to where it wants to go. Let go of the wheel and let your mind roam free. Enjoy the wonderful adventures that await!
As always with love and kindness,
PS: Full disclaimer, I had to make a few edits to the story of my friend to ensure their privacy was kept thoroughly. Everything else was 100% unedited.
Photo Credit: Anodea Judith at blog.mindvalley.com/7-chakras